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Across the UK, millions of obnoxious people may be carrying the A.R.S.E gene says new found research carried out by Men Of Sense, Excellence & Sight (MOSES).
The study indicates that those people who push in the queue, swear at cuddly old ladies, fart in a lift or those who pinch things which are not their own could well be the A.R.S.E carrier.
According to Cambridge University, some Cambridge students and M.O.S.E.S have secretly been pulling out strands of hair from the heads of certain politicians and have found some "interesting results". Mr Genie from the university spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News: "some of the front benchers are carriers of the gene but, for legal reasons, we can not name them. Not yet!'
Meanwhile, students at Oxford University have been "scathing" about the results and have questioned their "validity". One spokesmen for the university stated, "getting back DNA results can take a week. You can tell if someone carries the A.R.S.E gene in five minutes. Just spill their tea and watch their reaction: a 'oh never mind, dear,' is a definite NO CARRIER. Whereas, a response like 'You fu**er!' or 'where is your superior?' is a GUARANTEED CARRIER."
