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A man from Colchester, in Essex, has 2nd degree burns on his thighs and stomach after squeezing himself into his jeans which were 'far too tight!'
Billy Silly, 38, 'insists' that it was the Tumble Dryer on 'too high a setting' which shrunk his jeans, 'it's not the hundred and fourteen mince pies I've had this week, despite what my wife says! I keep telling her, men have a high metabolism. We can eat what we want.'
Meanwhile, the obesity charity 'Don't Obese Me' reported that there is a 'worrying' tradition during the festive period that people act like 'chocolate hamsters'. An Obesity expert reported, 'on Christmas Day, in particular, people seem to eat and eat and eat and they only stop when they feel ill. But as soon as the 'feeling ill' stage grows faint, they start eating again.'
Meanwhile Mr Nibbles has issued an apology, 'we are sorry if our mince pies are addictive, we wish you to spend your money to maintain our deliciously high profits, but we never endorse or encourage heart problems.'
