'We play Rock, Paper, Scissors!' admits BBC weather man.

Yesterday, a 'devastating' fact was exposed that could shock 'weather enthusiasts': the weather men at the BBC use a children's 'guessing game' to make important decisions about the weather.

Steve Pain, chief of all things weather at the BBC, made the serious leak when giving a presentation about the high- tec weather equipment to a group of students on work experience. Mr Pain didn't realise his microphone wasn't turned off when he spoke to his secretary standing next to him 'this is a doss!' he was heard saying. 'Tell Geoff from I.T that it's his turn to play Rock, Paper, Scissors!'

According to our unnamed source, before the BBC broadcast their weather programme, Mr Pain plays rock, paper, scissors with the caretaker, the window cleaner, even the canteen staff. Each side will hazard a guess as to what the weather might do and then they play. Whoever wins then has their weather prediction broadcast to the British public.

The Big Pickle News can exclusively reveal that the queen was so 'enraged' by this scandal that she couldn't 'bring herself to drink her tea.' This is serious. Updates will be coming soon. 

People who are rude and outspoken 'could have A.R.S.E gene.'

Across the UK, millions of obnoxious people may be carrying the A.R.S.E gene says new found research carried out by Men Of Sense, Excellence & Sight (MOSES). 

The study indicates that those people who push in the queue, swear at cuddly old ladies, fart in a lift or those who pinch things which are not their own could well be the A.R.S.E carrier. 

According to Cambridge University, some Cambridge students and M.O.S.E.S have secretly been pulling out strands of hair from the heads of certain politicians and have found some "interesting results". Mr Genie from the university spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News: "some of the front benchers are carriers of the gene but, for legal reasons, we can not name them. Not yet!' 

Meanwhile, students at Oxford University have been "scathing" about the results and have questioned their "validity". One spokesmen for the university stated, "getting back DNA results can take a week. You can tell if someone carries the A.R.S.E gene in five minutes. Just spill their tea and watch their reaction: a 'oh never mind, dear,' is a definite NO CARRIER. Whereas, a response like 'You fu**er!' or 'where is your superior?' is a GUARANTEED CARRIER."

Follow the antics of The Big Pickle News on Facebook. 

STRICTLY no Farage!

After seeing Ed Balls perform his Gangnam Style routine on Strictly Come Dancing, Farage has told BBC bosses that he wants to be a contender in next year's series. 

A source close to the UKIP leader stated, 'Ed Balls has suddenly become a national treasure. Nigel knows he needs people to come round to his way of thinking before he has any chance of becoming Prime Minister. Trump has given him hope. So why not start with Strictly?'

However, Strictly bosses have vowed to pull the show if Farage is brought on, 'our ratings would plummet. The boos would be horrible, and Len might strangle him!'

When discussing his future on BBC question time,  Farage admitted being a 'huge fan' of Strictly Come Dancing which brought on such hysterics from the rest of the panel  that Dimbleby couldn't regain control for a full ten minutes!  One member of the audience said, 'I have never seen Dimbleby look so cross!'

Afterwards, Farage was getting on a plane back to New York, to see Trump, one onlooker said, 'he was shouting really loudly that all British politicians are corrupt!'

He is reportedly off to talk to the American president-elect who 'really knows' what he's talking about!