People who don't drink tea 'could just be strange!'

CRAB (Community of Rubbish and Bullshit) have announced that people who don't like tea have 'mutated genes' and 'could be from another planet.'

The English Tea MD spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News: 'tea is our national drink and those who don't like it are in danger of not being well.' 

A scientist from Oxford university, Doctor Leaf, can back up this claim, 

 'no one really knows this but millions of endorphins are released with each sip of tea. It is the single reason why people sigh after they've finished a good cuppa.'

However, other findings have 'worried' the nation: it's been estimated that 1 out of 20 people claim they don't like tea. And only 47% have actually tried it!  These are 'humiliating' findings according to the World Health Organisation. One health practitioner stated, 'you Brits have gone slack! Tea is the one drink you do well!'

Boris Johnson has been quick to defend the country's tea drinking traditions, 'we're not imbeciles, we will quickly deal with the country's growing disinterest in tea. It will be our number 1 policy.'