Christmas shopping BEFORE December is bad for your health!

Christmas Panic Syndrome is on the rise as more and more people start worrying about Christmas far too early- in some cases, as early as August.

 According to the World Health Organisation symptoms of Christmas Panic Syndrome include sweaty palms, a compulsion to buy EVERY PRESENT by the end of September and nightmares about having dry turkey.

A leading practitioner researching into this 'seasonal panic' refers to its 'irony',
'organised people seem to suffer the most. As soon as September comes, those who are normally calm and logical suddenly suffer heart palpitations and shortness of breath- quite often when they first watch the John Lewis advert.'

This year, many of the retail giants have competed for the 'most Christmasy' advert designed to pull on heart strings and stir emotion. And this has proven 'problematic' for people with Christmas Panic Syndrome (CPS). Another expert stated, 'people are bombarded with Christmas story after Christmas story with jumping pets and crying snowmen. These adverts bring on the symptoms and sufferers have to turn off their television sets. '

The government has 'promised' to send out leaflets offering advice on how to cope with the symptoms of CPS. Boris Johnson has offered to dress up as an elf for the front page photo of the leaflet in order to 'cheer people up'; the World Health Organisation 'strongly objects' to such an image on grounds that it might bring on several thousands of seizures around the country.