Shocking report reveals that men DO believe in the Bin Fairy.

Today, a damning report has surfaced which claims over 90% of men believe in the bin fairy- that every bin in the house is somehow emptied by a 'small magical flying creature'.

Millions of women across the UK have collectively rolled their eyes in response to this report. One representative of the Women's Institute commented, 'mothers of the previous generation have spoilt their boys. So now men think fairies do household chores!'

An expert in the field 'worryingly' overheard two men talking in the pub. 'I almost choked on my drink when I overheard them discussing their magic dishwashers!'

Meanwhile, several men have 'hit back' insisting that 'it wasn't their fault!'. Others are 'adamant' that the bin fairy DOES exist. One man insists,  'I have never seen my wife take the bins out. Ever!'

BIG SHOCKER: Teachers ONLY stay in the job because of the holidays!

'Devastating' report suggests the worst scenario: teachers LOVE their time off!  

Plus, statistics and questionnaires carried out across the country point to the same conclusion:  all that every teacher thinks about is August!

One Head Teacher from Essex 'could not see this coming' as he expressed his disappointment about the findings. 'Teachers should live and breathe their job- you're not a real teacher unless you mark in your sleep and read the TES.' Unfortunately, the Head teacher could not speak any further as he'd been 'forced' to teach French and Maths, 'I just can't get the staff,' he admitted.

Other Head Teachers have refused to comment but OFSTED have spoken exclusively to The Big Pickle News, 'we need more rigorous assessment of our teachers. A lie detector will be introduced where we test a teacher's dedication- a REAL teacher works every single day of their holidays!'

Meanwhile, there have been several jokes and memes being shared on social media and some NUT and NASUWT reps have been spotted in A & E having split their sides from 'uncontrollable' laughter. 

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Woman who eats 1000g of Dairy Milk is 'adamant' that her diet starts tomorrow.

Sarah Biggs, an unfortunate mother of several 'lively' children, insists that she IS on a diet but eating 1000g of Dairy Milk is her 'only way' to get some peace.

She was spotted 'inhaling' the chocolate in the South Woodham Ferrers ASDA while her children sat in the Peppa Pig rocket. One till worker spoke up, 'she just scoffed the whole lot!'

Moments later, one onlooker rushed over to the mother as she spotted that the mother's eyelids had started to flicker, 'I almost began CPR but then she shouted at me.' The lady then told us a 'milder' version- 'Get the Fuck off me Fucking chocolate!' 

One expert in the field of chocolate addiction described what happened to Sarah Biggs as 'going into a chocolate coma'. He warned 'too much chocolate can send the brain into overdrive. This is where the brain starts changing our vision and everything we see turns into a chocolate bar.'

Sarah Biggs has been 'warned' about the consequences of 'inhaling' chocolate. However she insists that her diet is still on, 'I'm gonna start tomorrow.'

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Gullible woman does cartwheels to make herself look young.

A woman is suffering from a double fracture to both wrists after she tried to do a triple cartwheel in her local park, today.

Kathryn Player (a mother who displays certain 'wally traits') has done extensive research into the benefits of cartwheeling in an attempt to make herself look more youthful. However, according to her mother it hasn't worked, 'it's a damn shame! She still looks her age.'

It was a post on Mumsnet that recommended this 'deluded' woman to perform three cartwheels a day. Kathryn spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News, 'I hadn't done a cartwheel since 1989. I thought it would be like riding a bike.'

However, onlookers who witnessed the cartwheels have been 'traumatised' by what they saw. One elderly gentlemen told us, 'it was monstrous- legs were flying everywhere! And I think it's a disgrace to all those professional cart wheelers.'

The association of respectful cartwheelers (ARC) has made a statement: 'no one should perform a cartwheel unless they have our expressed permission to do so.'

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Mummy blogger 'goes bonkers' when she reads about her life online!

Mummy blogger goes bananas after reading about her life in her son's blog.

Yesterday, an appeal to the Supreme Court of Human Rights has been overturned when a mummy blogger tried to ban her son from writing about her in his blog. The mommy blogger is 'raging' about the verdict, 'my son lies about me. I don't drink buckets of Prosecco and I don't watch Jeremy Kyle!'

Meanwhile the son spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News, 'mum lost it when I posted a picture of her in a onesie. She said it was the WRONG onesie!'

Other bloggers have 'openly confessed' that they have not considered how their ranting toddlers might grow up to be bloggers themselves. One blogger has been in contact with her solicitor to draw up papers to protect her from a possible lawsuit later on, 'I never thought that making up dramatised stories about my son's toilet habits would be a problem!'

However, middle-aged media experts believe that the ability to 'openly mock' your parents is 'alarming'. One has a thesis on the matter and believes 'teenagers who mock their parents could well be involved in fake news.'

Till girl who presses faulty button 'thousands of times' burns a hole in her thumb.

Yesterday, a 'frustrated' and 'angry' till girl working in Aldi, in Benfleet, (Essex) pressed the cancel button on the countertop card machine 'so many times' that onlookers started screaming when smoke was coming from her thumb. 

An Aldi customer who witnessed what experts call 'Till Rage' spoke of her ordeal, 'it was ridiculous. She put my card in the machine and then huffed and puffed while shouting to her neighbour on the till behind her. 

Another witness stated, 'she just kept pressing the cancel button again and again, and again!! I've seen till girls look angry like that before- I took a step back!'

An elderly customer also spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News: 'I told the girl to stop, told her you gotta let the machine have time to process what you want it to do. Well, she could have burned me eyeballs with the look she gave me!'

Aldi have declined to comment but have added, 'it is not in our policy to start screaming at card machines. There will be a full investigation in the matter.'

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Mother's sanity 'questionable' after she is caught watching Children's TV!

Sanity of mother 'questionable' after she was caught watching 'Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom' WITHOUT her children. 

A mother of two from Chelsea is currently 'undergoing tests' after she was caught 'with her feet up' in the middle of the day, watching the Children's TV programme while her children were at preschool.

The woman who can not be named for legal reasons 'insists' there is nothing wrong with her, 'I don't normally watch it. But Nanny Plum makes me laugh. I'm sure she fancies the Wise Old Elf!'

Meanwhile, the husband and father of two, who wishes to keep his anonymity, spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News: 'her day off is supposed to be for doing the shopping- not relaxing!' This statement received scathing comments on Mumsnet who believe anyone's 'sanity' would 'be'put to the test' with such a 'male pig'.

A psychiatrist from Oxford university states that this is 'extremely common'. He reported that 'mums often watch TV programmes with their children and then get locked in by the luminous pink.' 

Another expert added, 'I've seen women with an IQ of a 160 laugh raucously during a Peppa Pig episode. The effects of all that colour is quite extraordinary.'