Tories get TROLLIED after 0.5% in economic growth.

Residents along Whitehall called the police to complain of disturbances and loud music and the officers on duty discovered Teresa May and her cabinet having an all night 'bender' at Downing Street.

One eyewitness has come forward, brave enough to disclose what he saw. 'People were hanging out of the windows semi-naked. Then the conga came on and Boris was at the front of the line, wearing yellow clown trousers, leading them all out onto the street. Theresa May was sat on the curb, spilling her Prosecco all over her pearls. I felt quite sick!'

Sources close to the Prime Minister have said that both the 0.5% growth and the decision by Nissan to expand its manufacturing in the UK have led the PM to 'let her hair down.'

Chief economist at the BBC was not surprised by the news, 'leading the country after the referendum has been a harrowing task. Behind closed doors, I've heard that Theresa May has built a secret panic room into the basement of Downing Street. So far, it's been used seven hundred times!'

The shadow chancellor was more scathing, 'it's disgraceful! When the Labour government return to Downing Street we shall be Morris Dancing. No drunken conga from us!'