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Thousands of university students have shrunk and are showing toddler-like behaviour after using an untested anti-ageing drug.
A compound found in broccoli, cucumber and Branston Pickle has the 'ability to improve fur quality and twitch speed in mice. A proven indicator of youth!' claims biology lecturer from Cambridge.
Originally, the drug was supposed to go through clinical trials but, unable to wait, Oxford and Cambridge undergraduates insisted they tried it first.
A mum of Katrina Jones (biology undergrad) spoke of her devastating ordeal, 'I met Kat in Costas. It was 20 minutes after she had gone through all her checks at the lab. First, she was eating her panini but then she started throwing the side salad at me. She then fell off her chair. When I looked down she was a third of her size. AND she was licking the coke off the floor!' Mrs Jones then broke down during the interview, 'I want her back! I hate babies!'
Mrs Jones is now receiving therapy as she comes to terms with having to use the naughty step, again.
Another mum, who wishes to remain anonymous, was more optimistic, 'I can use the play pen, again! That way I'll know EXACTLY where she is.'
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