Dangerous grammar snobs are on the loose!

There's been a number of grammar snob 'sightings' at various locations in the UK.

The CEO of Facebook gave a clear warning last night. 'On a Facebook timeline near you, a grammar snob is lurking. Waiting.  He/She could be hiding behind a YouTube video or Huffington Post ad. NOONE is safe, they get you when you're most vulnerable.'

According to the BBC Watchdog, a grammar snob, 'may use a mug with grammar teachings on the side, they almost NEVER use abbreviations like OMG and are quite often boring and strict teachers.'

However, the Royal Society Of Good English Grammar 'objects' to the criminalisation of good grammar usage, 'why shouldn't we use the Queen's English correctly? We should not assume that everyone wants to embrace the world of LOL and BFF!'

A representative of the Facebook media team informed the public that they would 'endeavour' to erase all false grammar news as it was 'concerned' that some grammar snobs were giving incorrect information about how to use an apostrophe.

Woman who 'couldn't give a toss' about Christmas is suspected of being extraterrestrial!

Last night, a woman stated on Facebook that she 'couldn't give a toss about Christmas' and it sent the festive world into a spin! There's been outrage on social media and many people have had their 'Elf on the Shelf' brandishing a Pitchfork in protest. 

A Christmas expert who specialises in 'festive cheer' reported that it was 'very unusual' to be so dismissive of Christmas at this time of year. 'The woman has displayed almost psychopath tendencies.  We need to check out her DNA because something isn't right! I mean, who doesn't like Christmas? If one is not moved by Wizard's I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY! then one must assume the person is suffering from seasonal flu!'

The woman, who can not be named for legal reasons, is still insisting that she said the right thing, 'Christmas is too commercialised. Elves and gaudy trees have taken over my Facebook timeline- I liked it better when it was babies and Prosecco!'

A thirty-one-year-old woman, who insists that Santa is 'alive', reacted to the woman's rant on Facebook, 'there's just no need for comments like that! I pity her, poor woman! Once she starts believing in Santa, again, she'll feel MUCH BETTER!'