Employee disciplined for having the 'audacity' to take 3 biscuits from the biscuit tin.

Today, Simon Wasfit has been in court charged with biscuit robbery. The office manager made a statement to our news team: 'we only allow employees to have two biscuits a day. Even in the holidays! So, from now on, we're going to padlock our steel biscuit tin.'

The 'surprisingly thin' man was caught 'stuffing his face' by the cleaner who spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News, 'you should have seen all the crumbs he was making. I kept telling him to use a plate, but would he listen?'

Meanwhile, Simon's wife has been forced to make a statement at Chelmsford crown court: 'Simon has always insisted that he's got some allergy to manufactured tin and steel, says that's why he can never go near the kitchen. Well, we now know that's bulsh*t. Knowing that he's lied to me all along really takes the biscuit!'

A relationship expert claims that some men will say 'all number of lies' to get out of the household chores.

Meanwhile, Mr Wasfit has made a public apology on live television, 'I know that lying about allergies can have serious consequences- my wife tried to strangle me last night. I have learnt my lesson about marriage and biscuits.' 

Follow more silly antics at THE BIG PICKLE NEWS on Facebook.