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Sunday, 30 July 2017

Those who rarely talk about the weather 'might not be British' according to new study.

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A study carried out by students at Oxford University has discovered a 'worrying trend'. The report states that 'more and more p...
Friday, 28 July 2017

Fat people 'fed up' of thin people saying they can't put on weight.

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Millions of people across the UK who are 'sickeningly slim' are irritating their friends and colleagues by complaining that they ...
Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Employee disciplined for having the 'audacity' to take 3 biscuits from the biscuit tin.

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Today, Simon Wasfit has been in court charged with biscuit robbery. The office manager made a statement to our news team: 'we only allo...
Wednesday, 19 July 2017

'Wasps really are out to get you!' states expert in Insectology.

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Research carried out with 23 million wasps has confirmed the public's 'greatest fears': wasps really are vindictive ba**ards! ...
Monday, 10 July 2017

Dad who went to school claims he's an 'expert' in Education.

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A dad in his 40s insists that the whole country MUST listen to him- he went to school and remembers what it was like. We can conclude that...
Friday, 23 June 2017

Refusal to eat broccoli linked to 'leadership qualities'.

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A specialist in broccoli consumption has carried out 'pioneering' research that could change the way we regard our 'fussy...
Sunday, 21 May 2017

People who don't drink tea 'could just be strange!'

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CRAB (Community of Rubbish and Bullshit) have announced that people who don't like tea have 'mutated genes' and 'could be ...