Mother makes 'shocking' revelation that she NEVER feels guilty!

Shock waves have been sent through the British public, and around the world, after a mum in Essex claims she DOES not suffer from the notoriously common 'Mummy Guilt', (when everything you say and do MUST be wrong!)

'I don't feel guilty!' stated the mother in question, who appeared on BBC's Question Time: 'I do my very best as a parent. If I make a mistake, I try and change it. I can't do any more!'

This has sparked a flourish of outcries from Mumsnet. 'Who is this crazy lady?' said one.
'EVERY mother feels guilty. That's why we blog, FFS!' said another.

Meanwhile, DADS R US- a charity willing to listen to dads who find parenting 'traumatising' have insisted, 'every good parent feels guilty. We always feel bad when we go on long 'Lads Weekends'- we ALWAYS worry how the wife is coping with the kids. That's why we never answer our texts!'

The DADS R US website has been hacked- investigations are ongoing because several mothers have owned up to it on their Facebook pages.

Cases of 'giddiness' and 'euphoria' seen in millions of parents as August comes to a close.

Across the UK, the Richter scale has reported regular tremors this week as millions of parents are 'jumping', 'skipping' and 'performing little dances' as the school holidays draws to a close.

A mum from Essex reports that her blood pressure has decreased, bit by bit, since the 20th August, 'we're at the point where I know I haven't got long to go! I can imagine a crumb free lounge and a hot cup of tea!'

Although for some parents it can be a very traumatic time.

TUMS (Traumatised & Upset Mothers) see an increase in online registrations each year: 'mums who watch their child go through the school gate for the very first time have it tough: they have to find out what phonics are, some go into panic mode thinking they can't remember the alphabet! Others hate the fact that they can now go shopping in peace and quiet. It's a traumatising time!'

Meanwhile, the W.I has made a public statement in response to tremors caused by overexcited parents: 'Mothers, get a grip! All this dancing is bad for your crockery; and TUMS Mums, for heavens sake, just learn how to bake!'

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Mother's sanity 'questionable' after she is caught watching Children's TV!

Sanity of mother 'questionable' after she was caught watching 'Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom' WITHOUT her children. 

A mother of two from Chelsea is currently 'undergoing tests' after she was caught 'with her feet up' in the middle of the day, watching the Children's TV programme while her children were at preschool.

The woman who can not be named for legal reasons 'insists' there is nothing wrong with her, 'I don't normally watch it. But Nanny Plum makes me laugh. I'm sure she fancies the Wise Old Elf!'

Meanwhile, the husband and father of two, who wishes to keep his anonymity, spoke exclusively to The Big Pickle News: 'her day off is supposed to be for doing the shopping- not relaxing!' This statement received scathing comments on Mumsnet who believe anyone's 'sanity' would 'be'put to the test' with such a 'male pig'.

A psychiatrist from Oxford university states that this is 'extremely common'. He reported that 'mums often watch TV programmes with their children and then get locked in by the luminous pink.' 

Another expert added, 'I've seen women with an IQ of a 160 laugh raucously during a Peppa Pig episode. The effects of all that colour is quite extraordinary.'