'We play Rock, Paper, Scissors!' admits BBC weather man.

Yesterday, a 'devastating' fact was exposed that could shock 'weather enthusiasts': the weather men at the BBC use a children's 'guessing game' to make important decisions about the weather.

Steve Pain, chief of all things weather at the BBC, made the serious leak when giving a presentation about the high- tec weather equipment to a group of students on work experience. Mr Pain didn't realise his microphone wasn't turned off when he spoke to his secretary standing next to him 'this is a doss!' he was heard saying. 'Tell Geoff from I.T that it's his turn to play Rock, Paper, Scissors!'

According to our unnamed source, before the BBC broadcast their weather programme, Mr Pain plays rock, paper, scissors with the caretaker, the window cleaner, even the canteen staff. Each side will hazard a guess as to what the weather might do and then they play. Whoever wins then has their weather prediction broadcast to the British public.

The Big Pickle News can exclusively reveal that the queen was so 'enraged' by this scandal that she couldn't 'bring herself to drink her tea.' This is serious. Updates will be coming soon. 

Britain 'shocked' by moderate Cold Snap.

Britain has been 'shocked' by temperatures which are the 'expected average' for this time of year. Thousands have taken to social media to express their utter surprise at having to wear their winter coats in December. One astonished woman wrote, 'It's cold out there!'

However, our obsession with weather which is 'normal' for this time of year isn't new. 'If you walk down any high street you will see the British people at their best,' states a Professor from Oxford University who specialises in B.O (British Oddities). 'They will continually repeat the same phrases. These are, in no particular order:
'Ooooh, it's bitter!'
'It's definitely Winter.'
'We might have snow!'

According to research carried out over the last fifty years, these phrases have never changed. The only phrase which is no longer in use is...'have we got enough fire wood?'

If you are affected by this seasonal 'shock and bewilderment' which seems to affect more than half of Britons each year then The Big Pickle News can offer the following advice:

1) Put the kettle on.
2) If tea alone doesn't calm your nerves, have a biscuit- not a Rich Tea- a proper biscuit.
3) Get your coat on.
4) Think about the number of extra calories you are burning in this cold. Then think of the extra biscuits you can have.

Follow us on Facebook. 😊👍